Sorry everyone for my written absence.

There are so many things that I want to say, but I couldn't find the words, and still can't. Most notably, the fact that Breylon has passed away. He left us on Friday, February 15. It's hard to accept that he isn't here. I am missing him immensely. I think things like what I would give to have 10 more minutes with him, but I realize that that wouldn't change anything. He would still be gone, and I would be left with the same void.

I ask myself, "Does life really mean anything? If so, what? Did his life mean anything? Did his death?" Struggling with meaning and reason for things happening is a common occurrence after loss. I still can't give a definitive answer to those questions. I can only say how I feel about them, and that has nothing to do with reason.

But more importantly, life goes on where you want it to or not, and although it's hard not to get caught up in the what if's of the past and future, I need to focus on what is and not forget what was.

Looking forward to all the moments I'll spend with Brynlee and hoping Breylon's legacy will help.